I have had this discussion with a lot of my girlfriends, and I think that it depends on the reason why you got married in the first place. Long before we decide to get married, sex is all based on hormones (pheromones); pure lust.
Most women still experience that giddy feeling; head over heals in love. In the beginning it’s fresh and new. You and your partner have not yet discovered all of the little quirks that eventually annoy each other yet! Therefore it’s the best sex! It’s raw and full of discovery because you’re less inhibited and will try anything and do it anywhere.
In your first few months, or even years, making love is probably your first priority. Sex is fun and important, because you want to be loved, admired, fondled and desired. You spend lots of time trying to get some.
So why then, after a few years into the marriage, do some women put f@#king, fondling and falatio on the back burner of their?
For many women, having sex is unexpectedly interrupted by the arrival of their first little bundle of joy, which is ironically the product of their coitus un-interrupt-us! This little pile of stork droppings is usually the start of many interrupted nights to come.
Women are so exhausted for the first several weeks, due to all of their new responsibilities. They eventually get the okay from the Doc to engage in their normal sexual activities.
Some, not all, women experience a strange new complex about sex; thinking that now that they have pro-created and have achieved what sex is intended for, they don't feel the same about it. It just can’t be fun anymore. Some women feel that they get all of the love they need from the child or children.
Some women, a lot just don't have the same desire or drive for sex, still due to the hormone change. Some are just too tired and overwhelmed. Some suffer from postpartum depression.
Some feel intimidated by their strange new bodies. Insecurity sets in, due to weight gain, stretch marks, extra tummy flab, breast size changes. The list can go on!
I think that we, as women and moms need to remember that sex is a much more important part of our marriages to men. The men have not gone through all of these physical and emotional changes that we have, and so they are still in need of that release.
Ladies you just need to get back on the horse, (sort to speak) and remember that your man will be around the house a lot longer than your children. You took a vow with your husband to love and honor him, and to a man this means fulfilling his needs! Yeah I said his needs.
Date nights and romantic getaways are a must. Spend a night away from the kids, stay at a hotel, and go for a walk on the beach, under the moonlight. Romance is a big missing key factor after the honey moon is over. Papi and I are trying to have more date nights and I have to tell you that it’s a lot of fun!!!!!!!!
Make sure you are still telling him that he is handsome, and remember to always tell him how much you love him and appreciate him, go to bed together every night, talk in bed like you use to do when you were dating.
By paying so much attention to him, you will show him that you still care for him and desire him, like the first date night you two shared together.
My mother used to say “when you are married, you must be a whore to your husband at night, and a lady during the light of day”.
Ok, here are a few tips to fire up your sex life:
Before you present yourself for sex, shower, brush your teeth and if he likes perfume, use a little. Common sense, right? Be inventive with sex. Don't do the same routine all the time.
Help each other to do whatever you two want to get accomplished before bed time, and never go to bed angry.
For guys if she wants to get the house cleaned before then, help her. If she needs to get the bills paid, help her do that too, but never talk money in the bedroom. If her task is to get the kids bathed and put down, help her out!
A full body massage relaxes. You don't need expensive oils, use hand lotion or baby oil. Taking a shower together is fun too. Begin foreplay in the shower!
Light some candles and burn some scented oil. Put on music (they have special CDs for romance so you aren't listening to the words) and offer her or him a backrub first.
I know, it takes a little work, and I'm lucky that I have a husband who understands me and loves me no matter what, but I still think that it’s my pleasure and duty to f@#k his brains out!
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